Circle of Life

Ahhhh...spring is in the air, baby! Only the most desperate piles of snow are still lingering, clinging to the sides of ditches in an attempt to stay out of the searching sun. I say thee NAY, foul mounds! Away with thee, for thou shalt not dare...

Ohh, fuck it. I was never any good at Thor-speak, anyway. I'm much more of a Ben Grimm kinda guy...but I guess that's whatcha git fer readin' Smilin' Stan's witty dialogue all these years.

I'm wandering.

I guess this spring weather just sort of treats me like the full moon...only, instead of turning me into a lunatic, I guess I become...what? A "primaveratic"? Anyway...here are some true signs that cranky ol' Winter is on the way out, and lovely Mother Spring blooms again:

Hello! These little lovelies were waiting for me when I got home from work on Thursday. Mmmm...crocuses. And...what's that? Litte ragged-petal tulips poking through as well? Hell, if you wanna see tulips, check out THIS progress:

Hmmm...at that size, this photo REALLY doesn't do justice to what I see near my driveway! That sad little line of green flugh are the dark-orange day lilies shooting up their greenery. What you're SUPPOSED to see - what I see when I stand on the porch, or when this photo is a ginormous 40mb - are the blue tulips making their presence known in BETWEEN the lilies. See what a flower-guy I've become? Plant the bulbs in BETWEEN the perennials, so that the tulips can show off in April & May, then fade back for the lilies come June & July. Well, shuck my corn & call me "Cobby!"

...um...

Here, too, is an important sign of spring:

That there little pile of ever-whitening fluff is m'beard. Yes, I've shorn back to the Van Dyke, which I keep in the deluded hope that it somehow hides my icky double chin.

NATURALLY, this burgeoning feeling of life about to begin anew would hardly be worth it if Roslyn wasn't on the way. (Editor's note: I just now discovered that "Roslyn" is kind of hard to type: "R-o-s" is easy, but that peskly "l-y-n" means ya gotta get the last two letters with the same finger. Hmmm. I should talk to Dr. Tessmacher about perhaps changing that.) Here's a recent photo of the little munchkin:

What the...?!? Oh, FUCK no! CURSE YOUUUU, GENE SIMMOOOOONNNS!

Naw, I'm just kiddin'. Gene didn't make Tess #4,392! He's way too busy filming "GS Family Jewels", which, in case you weren't paying attention, starts up again in April. Watch it. It's seriously funny. It works because the lovely Shannon Tweed and their two great kids consistently make the God of Thunder look like the King of the Dipshits.

We have some great photos of Roz from the last couple of visits, but we're due to go in on Tuesday anyway, so I'll let this photo (suggestion courtesy Mike) tantalize you until the new batch gets here. I will say that she has filled in a LOT in just the month between February and March. The head-on face shot that I so evilly doctored here actually kind of looks like one of those Mexican "Day of the Dead" skull masks...but, the last time we were in she had really fleshed out, almost to the point where we can see details. For instance: we got a great profile shot, and Roslyn seems to have Tess' nose. Which is good, since it's little & buttony & overall very cute, whereas mine is kinda straight & severe-looking. Grrr.

Okay. That's enough of my bullshittin' for now. If you're somewhere in the Midwest, and you're reading this: go the fuck outside, willya?!? Geez, it's BEAUTIFUL out! And, if you're somewhere that's pretty temperate all year (and here I'm thinking of Jenn in San Antonio), then you can pretty well piss off. San Antonio. Sheesh. Can't even SKI there!