Friday, October 19, 2007

Scream Until You Like It

From the book of Things No One Told Me...

• No one told me that Roslyn would scream so loudly as I try to get her down to sleep that I'd actually resort to wearing earplugs. These are plugs I bought - and did NOT use - to see Kiss from the 2nd row. How can a 3-month old baby have the volume and lung capacity of Bessie Smith and Pat Benatar COMBINED?!?

• No one told me that while being held in an attempt to induce Sleep Mode, Roslyn would thrash her head so violently that, upon connecting with my chin, I'd see stars.

• No one told me that Roslyn would be so inconsolable that, back aching and arms ready to fall off, I'd simply lay her in her crib and listen to her cry while I do situps on the floor to try to build core strength and prevent further backaches.

• No one told me how frustrated and ineffective I'd feel when trying unsuccessfully to get Roslyn to sleep. Sometimes she goes right down, sometimes she needs to fuss a little but finally finds her thumb. Lots of times, though, I hold her while she squalls and pray that she'll eventually exhaust herself to the point that, frankly, she passes out.

• No one told me that simple times would be the best. Yesterday I sat Indian-style at the window in her room with her sitting on my lap, leaning back against my chest. We watched the world go by while I toyed with her feet and rubbed her arms, and she cooed softly.

• No one told me what a goofball she would be upon waking, acting all puppy with big grins while Miss Tessmacher and I guzzle coffee like it's the nectar of the gods. Her delight at seeing us first thing in the morning, and her obvious desire to play and laugh and joyously wave her arms and legs erases the previous night's desire to leave her in a basket on someone else's porch.

• No one told me what a tongue-twister Fox in Socks was...and how she'd happily gurgle away while I read it again...and again...and again...

• No one told me that I'd give up any hope of "living" and simply resort to "surviving" one day at a time, praying for these long & frustrating weeks to pass...while at the same time desperately wanting her to stay little and angelic forever, just like she is now...


Blogger L*I*S*A said...

No one told you because it's something that you have to experience on your own.

Enjoy the journey, and remember, it doesn't last forever.

Take Roz, sit Indian-style, and watch the world go by.

THAT'S the stuff that life is made of, friend.

9:29 AM  
Blogger Strangeite said...

I am going to tell you about one of the wonderful experiences you can look forward to.

The first time your child complains about how a mass media reference to a comicbook character has butchered the background and/or personality of said character.

1:29 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Mark Said ...

Ah, fatherhood. So many things people never tell you cause they don't remember, or, don't want to remember, but, it's all good. You'll always find that one thing you wish your child would do, or do better. But, when you look at the whole picture, that one thing usually doesn't matter much.

7:27 AM  
Blogger Mike said...

yes we did tell you, you just didn't get it at the time.

this is why i hope you put the parenting books away. Fox in Sox, great book, have you rediscovered Go Dog Go yet???

7:38 AM  
Blogger Jenn-Jenn, the Mother Hen said...

Ah, yes. The little things other parents never told you...

Repeat after me, "This too shall pass. This too shall pass."

6:36 PM  
Blogger Feral Mom said...

Every three months, things change--at least that's what I remember through the haze. You lose something cute, but also something that was driving you batshit, and you gain something teeth, words, laughter, or potty training. Parenthood is fun, and keeps you regular!

10:48 PM  
Blogger LauriO said...

You'll be alright darlin'. You and Tess are all in this together! AND...most of us have been through the exact same thing. Now, picture my pre-pubesant 11 year doing the same thing that Roz is doing. It all comes around again. Enjoy it all, even the times you scream with her!

Love ya...

3:15 PM  

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