The Big One! (And, the Not-So-Big Four-Oh)

Woo-hoo! The Rozzle's birthday is next week! I can hardly believe it's been a year. Holy SHIT! I feel like it was just yesterday that Miss Tessmacher and I were walking all over town (okay, mostly to the video store and back, for deliriously-themed movie nights wherein Tess would get one film, I'd get another, and then we'd have to choose a third together that somehow linked our individual choices), trying to induce contractions of some sort. Wow. Time flies. On the other hand, I can barely remember the sleepless nights and frequent frustration of those first few months, trying to figure out just who the hell this little stranger was, and why was she screwing up my sleep schedule?!? What I absolutely cannot remember at all is life BEFORE my perfect girl. All you folks who have been parents for FAR longer than I have know exactly what I mean. You think your life is great, absolutely "all that," and then this new person comes along, and over the course of letting her fall asleep on your chest at 3:29am (while watching old Frankenstein movies), and watching her interact with all the people in her life, and walking her to "the Whee!" (as we affectionately call the swing at the park)...well, she just kind of obscures the "pre-her." Which is fine with me. When my best friend had HIS first child, 12 years ago now, he looked at me and said "I finally understand what fear is." I get it. Fear is that I might outlive her. (*shudder!*) Anywho, here's a look back over the past year...

Changing my first diaper.

God, when was she this SMALL?!?

Giving her an early education about the dictates of fashion.

Hmph. Apparently, she likes MOM'S choice of onesie better!

She's old enough for wine, right?

Who...me?!?

Gimme that banana!

This is a happy face...trust me!

Gettin' her Sesame Street dudes.

Me, on the other hand? Well, I turn 40 on Sunday. Hmm. Y'know, if you had asked me half my life ago what I THOUGHT 40 would be like? I'd have probably answered that I had no fuckin' idea...other than it was OLD. How could ANYONE possibly be 40?!? Might as well be 80, right? Well, as it turns out, 40 is...well, it's nothin'. And that's not "imminent midlife crisis" speaking, nor is it "crazed out denial" speaking. It just really is no big deal whatsoever. Look at it this way, by the decades:

• My childhood was idyllic. No complaints at all.

• My teens were pretty great, both in high school and early college. I learned to smoke.

• My 20s laid the foundation for my 30s. I smoked a pack a day (sometimes more), I binge-drank on the weekends (sometimes more), I ate fried hotdogs and chips and ramen and all manner of crap. I went from 140 pounds to 160, but looked better for it...not quite so skinny.

• My 30s were the best decade on record. I quit smoking right around 30 (except for occasional circumstances, but I've no desire to return to full-time, thank you), I met Tess (the best woman on the planet, no offense to the rest of ya), I quit eating crap and now (mostly) eat stuff that's either fresh-caught or free-range or organic, and I started exercising more or less (usually less) regularly. I also gained another 20 pounds, which REALLY pisses me off, but I like to blame that on the muscle mass I gained from the exercise. (Ha!) But despite a borderline-high cholesterol count, I feel great: I'm in better physical shape NOW than I was 20 years ago, and mentally? Well, it really is true: age mellows you out. Oh, I still rant & rail at NPR and phenomenally bad drivers, but for the most part I'm about as stress-free as a person can BE in this crazy world.

So, if I had a wish to make on this supposedly oh-so-important milestone birthday? It would be that the NEXT decade equaled the previous in terms of positivity and productivity. That, in 10 years' time, I could post that my FORTIES were my best decade on record. Cheers, all.

July, 1968. I have many photos like this of Roslyn.

Cute as the dickens!

Summer, probably 1978. An all-American boy. That car won 1st place, BTW.

August, 1985. One of my 2 senior pictures. How 80s, right?

June, 2008. The birthday pair.