Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Random Bursts

In true "brain fart" fashion, here are some things to consider…

1) A news headline: "Somali pirates vow to hunt down, kill Americans." Um…when did the law-breaker gain the right of victimhood?!? After the U.S. Navy shot & killed three pirates last week, these douchebags went absolutely ballistic, claiming in today's article "We will seek out the Americans and if we capture them we will slaughter them…we will target their ships because we know their flags." I dunno, I just don't understand that degree of moral outrage and desire for revenge when, goddammit, you're the fuckin' "bad guys" in the first place! Sort of like a schoolyard bully vowing revenge because he gets his ass kicked; gee, YOU started it, now YOU can't have it dished back to you? Nice. Fucking. Double. Standard. What I did like was Ron Paul's proposed answer to the pirate problem: bounty hunters. Seriously, it turns out that a Constitutional right exists for Congress to issue "letters of marque," essentially hiring private citizens to act as bounty hunters. I absolutely LOVE this idea! Let some sea-legged Rambo get out there off of east Africa and do some huntin'! It's not as if the U.S. gov't doesn't already use bounty hunters: there's still a $25m bounty for bin Laden, so moral/ethical conservatives can't get TOO much in an uproar. This is, like, the George Carlin solution, and I think it's great. Maybe I voted for the wrong guy, after all…

2) Another headline (this is why I must be stopped from reading the news): "Anti-Obama 'tea party' protests mark US tax day." So, these freedom movement nutjobs are planning country-wide protests to rail against…I'm sorry, what? Taxation? Oh, brother…seriously? Okay, so, the best thing I can ask you is this: if you abolish taxes, who's going to pay for all our shit?!? I know y'all think that "big government" is a problem, but you're not really thinking clearly about what "government" gives you that you just frickin' take for granted. If you want a "freedom movement" that gets rid of taxes, then I'll "freely" watch your house burn to the damn ground because there's no fire department anymore. I'll likewise watch some heathen-murdering-rapist-dickwad savage your teenage daughter, because you "freely" did away with a police force. Don't be dipshits. Taxes pay for ALL of us to enjoy lots of stuff that we'd be pretty fucked without. Should there be a rearranging of the tax code? Most assuredly. "Freedom movement?" Well, you're free to go fuck yourself!

3) As an aside to that: of course, in a police-free state, everyone would be a gun-totin' hero and would save his own daugher from said heathen-murdering-rapist-dickwad. But…howcum I never read a story about "Local hero shoots, kills armed assailants in coffee shop"? That's really the arguement that pro-gun folks use, right? "I want the opportunity to protect myself." Or some such thing. But I never read that story! No, I just read about a guy who comes into an office building with a Glock-9 and 30 fuckin' clips of ammo, ready to shoot 13 times in a row, as fast as he can pull the damn trigger. THAT'S what I read about. No. Outlaw the fuckin' pistols, and if you want "protection," buy a shotgun. Just…point in the general direction and shoot, you'll hit SOMETHIN', and when it's empty it's a damn good club.

4) One…more…headline: "NYC's next archbishop will challenge gay marriage." *sigh* This battle is over, folks. Face it, and move on. It's really all about the legal fees now, that's all you're in it for is the money. There's now legal gay marriage in 4 states, 4 states that didn't immediately fall off of Earth into the pits of hell, 4 states that the sun rose on the next morning…in other words, it DON'T FUCKIN' MATTER. Gays aren't out to "get you," they're not trying to "turn people gay," and they certainly are no threat to your own marriage. The new archbishop will also "…try to persuade alienated Catholics to return to the church." Sure, just as soon as you allow contraceptives and homosexuality, you'll probably see folks FLOCKING back to Catholicism. Until then…don't hold your breath. It's like this t-shirt I saw advertised:

As if, if JC were here now, he'd be a Republican. Oh, ayuh!

5) Lastly, a little eye candy from Easter: this is us taking a walk in the uncommonly good weather. Rozzle has opted for walking most everywhere now, including the 2/3-mile trip to & from the river by Tess' folks. She loves to throw stones & pinecones into the water. I love how she's tromping along in her dress, looking up at me with all the love & admiration that folks tell me will completely disappear by the time she's 12. So, I'd better soak it up now. Mmmmm…


Blogger Fun Guv said...

LOL! Mike wanted to blog about #2 last night too, he's very upset about the plight of the middle class mostly white man...gimmeabreak!

Pic is too cute and yes, do absorb as much of that love and adoration as you can while you get it. I think the you're the dumbest thing on the planet starts before 12 now though because our 12 y.o. is a seasoned pro.

7:15 AM  

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