Republican Corruption

So, with just a week to go until the election, and convicted criminal Ted Stevens is still in a dangerously close race in Alaska? Are you kidding me?!? The guy wasn't just accused of committing a crime; he was found guilty on all seven counts of committing crimes! This was no "press trial," this was the real deal, and he's still running in a statistical dead heat to win another term.

Un. Believeable.

Of course, the Republicans are pretty well used to corruption by now. It's typical of modern conservatism: say you want one thing, and then secretly work to achieve just the opposite. Time magazine recently did a story about indicted Senators - you can read it here - and while not all of them were ultimately convicted of crimes, most were forced out of office. And the amazing thing? 9 out of the 11 Senators who have been indicted...were Republicans. (Although I wonder at the very first one, since "Republicans" didn't really exist in 1803.) Yup. 82% of those Senators accused of committing crimes were of the party that, in modern times at least, campaigns on a platform of being "tough on crime."

Then there's Sarah Palin and her wardrobe. I know, give it a rest, right? Aren't there more important things to worry about than blouses & pantsuits? Well...there OUGHT to be. But, when a woman is claiming to be the champion of "small town" America, then hits the campaign trail in hot little numbers like this...

Yeah, baby! Red leth-ah! Ka-WOW! Um...except, how is this supposed to help her identify with rural voters in Indiana...or Pennsylvania...or Ohio? Can you get this cowskin at Wal-Mart? Or, do you have to go to, say, Neiman Marcus and shell out a grand or two? No, it's not fucking ABOUT HER WARDROBE, you dumbshits! It's about the fact that over one-tenth of a million dollars was spent to doll her up! And not from JCPenney, or Sears, or anyplace that might be perfectly fine for the average voter. Nope, she gets her shit from places that would probably kick out the very voters she's hoping to gain. Gah. It's disgusting. On top of it all, the Republican campaign? Once this whole story broke, they claimed that "well, most of these clothes were always going to be donated to charity once the election is over." Yah. THAT'S believeable! Like, they're just going to drop big garbage bags full of Coach purses and Manolo Blahnik shoes off at the local Volunteers of America. 'Cause I see shit like that in there all the time. ALL the time. Huh.

With a week to go, remember: you can cast your vote for a party that claims to represent small-town American values but has a clothing budget BIGGER than most of those same small towns...or you can vote for a guy who wears expensive suits, yes, but at least he buys them with his OWN money.